Soundtrack to My Life

I saw someone film this tag on Youtube and I really enjoyed the questions so I thought, why the hell not put it on my blog. I thought this would be an easy post to write. I was wrong! It was so hard to go through and pick just one or two songs. There are so many songs and artists that have had an impact on my life and the following songs are just hardly scratching at the surface. I do hope that you enjoy the songs I’ve picked out. I could do this over and over again with different songs each time, I swear!

1. Song you listen to when you’re happy?
I have a playlist on Spotify that I’ve been listening to lately when I’ve been in a good mood and it’s basically just Fall Out Boy and Panic! at the Disco songs. Their music just get me so pumped up.

2. Song you listen to when you’re sad?
Usually the song that I listen to when I’m sad is based on the reason why I’m sad. Is it loneliness? Is it feeling insecure? Is it stress? All of this matter! But usually something from Bon Iver or Cherry Wine by Hozier is a good choice.

3. What song will you have at your wedding?
This might seem like a strange song to have at a wedding but I adore this song and I’ve always thought that forgiveness is a big part of love and when this song goes into the part where he sings ‘I forgive you‘ you can just feel how much love is in that. It makes my heart warm.

4. What song do you dance around the house to?
I have so many songs that I dance around the house to but right now, it’s been Cool Girl by Tove Lo. Her music just makes me feel like a badass.

5. Song you play on your headphones when you’re out and about?
The song that I listen to when I’m out and about changes constantly but right now, I’ve been listening to Josephine by Ritual a lot.

6. Song you listen to when you’re angry?
This song has a special meaning to me simply because I can imagine myself saying the words to someone from my past, someone who has really hurt me. I put this one on and I feel like I’ve worked through some things.

7. Song you’d have at your funeral?
Again, this might not seem like a normal choice and it has nothing to do with the meaning of the lyrics or anything like that but it’s just this feeling that I get from this song.

8. Song that makes you lose your shit at a party?
Self explanatory.

9. The last song you listened to?

10. Your karaoke song?
Any One Tree Hill super fan will agree with me. This is the perfect karaoke song.

11. Song you work out to?
This is another song that just makes me feel like a badass and the whole idea of rising like a phoenix is something worth listening to when you’re miserable and working out.

12. Song with the most memories attached?
There are so many songs that have so many memories attached but the first one that came to mind was 321 by Hedley. Sleepovers with the best people, giggling the night away, enjoying being a young kid.

13.Song that makes you cry?
For me, this song has always captured the feeling of not being enough. That feeling that you’ll never be pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough. I think anyone who has self destruction habits will feel the same. I’ve listened to this song for year and it always makes my heart ache.

14. Favourite song of all time?
This was SO HARD to pick and I’ve selected some but really, all of the songs I’ve already mentioned and so much more are all special to me in one way or another. All of them.

06/08/16

To make a prairie it takes a clover and one bee,—
One clover, and a bee,
And revery.
The revery alone will do
If bees are few.
-Emily Dickinson

I think that I’ve been feeling a little lost lately. Life is crazy right now and I, like many adults in our current world, spend the days going to a job that doesn’t make me happy, making food that just fills me, watching TV shows and movies that I don’t need to think about, and going through all of that the next day. And the next day and the next day and the next day.

Lately, I’ve been thinking back to the the things that made me happy before the real world happened. Before stress and work and everything else got in the way.

I’d like to get those things back into my life. I had dreams of writing a novel, I got so lost in whatever book I was reading, that I didn’t even know what the weather was. I listened to a new album and felt that the musician was somehow able to capture my soul in the lyrics.

I’m tired of the monotony. I’m tired of waking up every morning with a knot of anxiety in my stomach with an urge to just run away. I want passion and love and excitement. I want to wake up everyday and have something to look forward to.

I want to let lost in stories and poetry and art and pictures. I want to write something that will mean something to someone. Maybe it’s just a matter of adding one thing into every day that makes getting up in the morning something to look forward to, not a chore.

Maybe it’s a matter of finding what little steps are needed to get to my goal. Maybe it’s working on finding classes to take online or getting rid of some unneeded everyday stress.

Maybe it’s just a matter of finding the clover and the bee, whatever that is, to build and create a beautiful prairie. A piece of inspiration.