Smoky Mountains

Here in Alberta, we’ve had a rather smoky summer. There are wildfires all over British Columbia and the smoke has been hanging around the valley. It sucks, it really does. It could be a lot worse, however. There are so many people who have been evacuated and lost their homes due to this fire. We’re lucky to just have to deal with smoke. Anyway, we decided to drive a little way out of town to get some fresh air and I thought I would share some photos here. 

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2017 Favourites – May and June

Last month was a hard month for me. Fuck, I’ll be honest. The past few months have been a little hard on and off. I really slacked as far as blogging goes and then the fact that the charging cord for my computer broke didn’t help matters. But no matter! I have plenty of favourites to share with you since I didn’t get around to doing my May favourites. Buckle up! We’re on a roller coaster that only goes up, friends.

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01. Purple Shampoo/Conditioner. I recently dyed my hair. I’m naturally a dirty, dark blonde; kind of leaning a bit more on the brown side. I’m also starting to go grey and I have a patch of pure white hair. So I’ve added more blonde to my hair and I think that in the future, I might want to go a bit more towards white. All of that being said, my hair routine has gotten a lot more involved. I wanted t buy a purple shampoo and conditioner to balance out any yellow tones in my hair and this combo from Drybar had amazing reviews. I love it. It smells like salon shampoo, it makes my hair feel soft and healthy, and it really helps my blonde. I am totally in love with this stuff.

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02. Ouai Dry Shampoo Foam and Texturizing Spray. I recently spoke about this in my last blog post so I won’t go on and on again. You can find that post HERE.

03. Ouai Rose Hair and Body Oil. Again, I just did a post about Ouai products so you can find that at the link above.

04. Sheet Masks. I think that I need an intervention. I am in love with sheet masks. No. That’s not the right word. I am OBSESSED with sheet masks. They feel so good on my skin, I can try a bunch of different brands that I might not try normally, and they’re just fun. I almost never place an order from Sephora without adding on at least one sheet mask. These masks from Dr. Jart have been some of my favourite but I love so many different kinds.

05. Candles. My best friend and I recently went to Edmonton on a shopping trip and while there, we stopped into Bath and Body Works. Their candles are some of my favourite and I like getting a few for the new season. These spring candles make my heart happy.

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06. Nest Perfume. I love perfume. It’s a weakness that I can’t afford. A good perfume just pulls everything together and I decided to spring and get this one. I love Nest as a brand but this one, called Indigo, is a lovely scent. It’s unlike anything that I’ve ever worn before. The site says that it’s an ‘exotic’ scent with notes of Moroccan tea, Kashmir wood, cardamon, wild fig, and bergamot. I adore it.

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07. David’s Tea. I am a tea drinker. I am a tea lover. Going into spring and summer, I love fruity and light teas. I got the Oasis collection from David’s Tea so that I could try out a bit of everything. I also got this amazing travel cup that makes it really easy to turn any tea into an iced tea. It’s been perfect for around the house and at work.

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08. Too Faced Bronzer. I had heard about this chocolate bronzer before but I’ve always been a little nervous about getting something like this because I am so bloody pale. I’ve always been worried that it would make me look orange or fake. What I really like about this bronzer is that it’s very build-able. It also blends out really easily so it doesn’t make me look like I’m trying too hard. Plus…it smells like chocolate. What?!

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09. Origins Lotion. Origins has been a company that’s been good to my skin. I got this lotion and I adore it. It has a rather watery texture but it still adds a lot of moisture to my skin. It’s great for warmer seasons.

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10. Juice Beauty Serum. I’ve had some pretty bad hormonal and stress pimples lately so I wanted to get something that would help. This serum promises to clear blemishes and it does just that. I put this on the other night when I started to get a bad zit on my chin and in the morning, it was almost gone.

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11. Loreal Mascara. This is the feline mascara and I LOVE it. I have been looking for a decent mascara from the drug store and I wanted something new so I picked this one out. It’s very fluttery and I love how big it makes my lashes look. It reminds me of a Lancome mascara that I have. I think it’s a good dupe.

12. Real Her Liquid Lipstick. I got this in the spring Fab Fit Fun box. It’s really good quality. In the picture, it looks a little glossy but it dries down to a matte and it does not budge. I have to scrub this off at the end of the day which is exactly how I like my lipstick.

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13. Melodrama by Lorde. I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am that Lorde has new music out. This album has been so much fun to listen to. She’s such an incredible artist and this album has been on repeat.

14. Harry Style’s by Harry Styles. I really wasn’t sure what to expect from his solo career but I was pleasantly surprised. He’s made some rather wonderful music and the whole album has just been such a joy to listen to.

15. Hasan Minhaj’s Home Coming King. I’ve been a fan of Hasan for a while now from his stuff on The Daily Show. I think he’s hilarious. So I was thrilled when I saw that he had a special coming to Netflix. He did not disappoint. I’ve never seen a comedy special like this. It’s part show, part special, part motivational speech. There is so much love and attention in this piece and I’ve already watched it a few times.

Astrological Questionnaire

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything on this blog so I thought I would do a little something to get to know me better. I found this online and decided to fill it out. Hope you like it!

aries: what are you passionate about? I’m passionate about writing and being creative and expressing myself in whatever way that might be…blogging, creative writing, make up, painting, photography, crafts…whatever. 

taurus: name 3 of your favourite books. How on earth am I supposed to pick?! The Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. The Crucible by Arthur Miller.

gemini: what was the last text you sent? I’m sure that it was something to my mother, probably saying that I was on my way or complaining about something. 

cancer: if you could choose your child’s zodiac sign, what would it be? Probably cancer, pisces, libra, or scorpio

leo: name something you love about yourself. These types of questions are harder than I wish they would be. I think that I’m a really caring and loving person and I think that’s one thing I really like about myself. 

virgo: what’s your #1 pet peeve? I really don’t like people who disagree with you just to disagree. I’ve known some people who just want to turn everything you say into a debate or a fight and it’s just a negative energy that I don’t need in my life. 

libra: describe your dream partner. Someone who is caring and strong and passionate. I like someone who can have fun but also knows when it’s time to be serious. Someone just…down to earth and real. 

scorpio: do you trust easily? I think that in some ways I do and in some ways, I don’t. 

sagittarius: if you could travel to any place in the world, where would it be? I’d really like to travel around Africa and Europe is high on my list, too. 

capricorn: what’s your dream job? Writer. Blogger. Creator. 

aquarius: do you believe in aliens? Yeah, I guess. I mean…the universe is so big and vast and we know so little about it. It seems very egotistical to think that humans are the only intelligent life.

pisces: what is your Myers-Briggs type? I am always an INFJ whenever I take the quiz. 

sun: describe yourself in 3 words. Compassionate. Emotional. Smart.

moon: what’s your favourite song? My favourite song changes. There are so many different songs that I love for so many different reasons and moods. Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones is a big one. Bon Iver’s entire album, For Emma, Forever Ago, is incredible and it gives me goosebumps every time. It all depends! And of course, The Killers have inspired the name of this blog with their song, Shot at the Night

rising/asc: how would you describe your style? I wish that I had the money and the ability to wear my style. I like all black everything. I like pieces that are a little bit sexy, a little bit mysterious, a little bit grunge. Minimal, simple, with statement pieces. 

mars: are you easily angered? No, not really. I might get annoyed and frustrated and I’ll bitch about whatever it is but I never get really angry and I never really lash out. 

venus: what’s your aesthetic? I like black and white. I like minimalist and simple. I like cozy. I enjoy things that might be a little darker and there are pieces of me that are still stuck in my rocker teen years but I like to think it’s a little more sophisticated. What’s the new thing I’ve seen on Buzzfeed? Post-Hipster? New Hipster? Yeah..something like that. 

mercury: what color do you talk in? A friend of mine once told me that she sees me as a light blue.

jupiter: what moral do you live by? Be kind. The world needs kindness. Be kind, be loving, be gentle, be you. 

saturn: what’s your biggest fear? On a surface level…bees and wasps, holy shit. On a deeper level…I guess I would say that I’m afraid of being alone, of not being enough. 

uranus: are you rebellious? I think that in someways, everyone can be a little rebellious.

neptune: share one of your dreams. I had a very strange dream once that all of my loved ones were in a circle, facing me. They didn’t have arms or legs and I had a box full of arms and legs to give out but I was one pair of limbs short and it was up to me to decide who would go without. 

pluto: what’s the biggest thing you’ve learned by far in your life? Trust yourself and trust your gut. If your body and soul is telling you something, just do it. 

lilith: do you have any guilty pleasures? I think the thing that makes me feel most guilty is when I indulge in certain foods. I’m an emotional eater so I’ll have a bad day and make myself feel better by eating a box of Kraft Dinner or something like that. 

chiron: have you ever broken a bone? Yes. I fell off my bike and I broke my foot. Lesson learned: don’t bike when there is ice on the ground. 

ceres: are you a momfriend? I’m totally the mom. 

pallas: do you have a good relationship with your parents? I do, actually. My mom is one of my best friends and I’m blessed enough to have a fantastic step-dad and a wonderful dad. 

juno: do you believe in soul mates? I do, yeah. I’ve met people who are like my friend-soul mates. Sometimes you meet someone and you just feel like you’ve known them forever and it’s like they understand your spirit, your soul. I’ve experienced that with friends so why shouldn’t I be able to experience that in a romantic partner?

1st house: are you confident? Sometimes, I can be confident but for the most part, I struggle with having any sort of confidence. 

2nd house: if you could only keep one of your personal items, what would you choose? This is really hard. I’d like to think that I would keep sentimental things like pictures but then I also would want to keep something like my bed because that’s my happy place. I think, however, I would keep something like my computer. It has everything that I need on it and it has all of those sentimental pictures, too. 

3rd house: do you like to read? I LOVE to read! I don’t read like I used to and I miss that but I still adore reading. 

4th house: what does your bedroom look like? Cozy! I like soft fabrics and I like having little knick knack around that make me happy, like my beauty products and my crystals and my candles. Honestly, though, it’s not up to what I want it to be but I’m getting there. I want to really invest my time and money in my room. I like white and minimalistic. I like the…Scandinavian/Ikea look, to be honest. 

5th house: name your favourite movie or show. My favourite TV show is One Tree Hill. I think that’s it’s a beautifully written show, it’s entertaining and fun. It’s also really shaped me as a person and taught me a lot about life. My favourite movie is RENT for the exact same reasons. It touched me and moved me and changed my life.

6th house: do you participate in community service? I wish I could say that I do but I really don’t. At this point in my life, I don’t have the time or the energy to really give my all. 

7th house: if you could choose, what zodiac sign would you like your dream partner to be? Scorpio! I am a Pisces and I’ve been told that Scorpio is my ideal partner. I’ve read what Scorpio/Pisces pairings are supposed to be like and it sounds awesome. Emotional and passionate and loving. Apparently. 

8th house: do you believe in reincarnation? I don’t have a full answer to this question. I think that in someways, I do. My mom always joked and said that if you had a recurring dream or something, it was probably something in a past life. I think that fundamentally, I do believe in reincarnation.

9th house: what’s your favourite quote? I have so many different quotes that I love but one that I keep going back to is: “Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it’s yours.”

10th house: are you good at public speaking? NOT AT ALL! I’m awful! It’s one of the worst things that I ever have to be put through. I can hardly tell a story to a group of friends at a bar with more than 5 people.

11th house: what sign(s) is your best friend/squad? I have noticed that I am surrounded by Libras. Libra, Gemini, Cancer, Leo.

12th house: do you like to be alone? I love my alone time. I need to get my social fix in every once in a while but being alone is my happy place. Being a Pisces, I tend to really take on energy from everyone around me and I need to spend time alone to rest and recharge and just be with myself. 

Books and Coffee: Book Club 01

Hello!

I don’t know about you, but I love to read. I’ve always loved reading. It was a sort of escape for me. I could travel the world, see creatures that don’t exist, fall in love, and save the human race; all without leaving my bedroom.

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I’ve also stopped reading like I used to. When I was a young adult, I would go through a book a week. It took me almost nothing to get wrapped into a book and it would become my life. I didn’t waste my nights watching TV or Youtube videos. I came home from school, dropped everything, and picked up a book. I want to read like I used to. I want to get wrapped up in a book and love every single minute of it again.

So I’ve decided to start a book club of sorts (thanks for the inspiration, Oprah!). I’m going to pick a new book and read through it and then let you know what I think about it. I will then announce what the next book is going to be and we’ll start again! My hope is that you enjoy the reading as much as I do and decide to join me. I hope that you at least enjoy reading these posts and maybe I can help inspire you to read.

The first book that I will be reading is Barbarian Days: A Surfing Life by William Finnegan. It’s a book that I’ve had sitting on my shelf for a little while but I’m finally going to pick it up!

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In about a month, I hope to have another post out telling you what I think about it.

Happy reading, my friends!

Mental Health Break

My friends and family know that I do not have the healthiest brain in the world and I’ve casually mentioned that I’ve been dealing with mental health issues in previous posts, but I wanted to talk more in depth about it today so bear with me.

For a very long time, I have lived with depression and anxiety. It’s become something about myself that I am learning to accept and work with. I think that denying it and hiding it is just going to make it worse.

Lately, I’ve been having a bit of a heard time. Certainly not at my worst but I have been in a funk. It’s been a struggle to get up in the morning and work through the day and I certainly haven’t been sleeping well (I’ve been having the same anxiety nightmare for about 2 weeks now).

For me, the first step is always just accepting that I feel the way that I feel. Once I just accept that I am not feeling well and I am not at my best, I can take care of it. I think that my first instinct is to pretend that nothing is wrong and that I’m okay but then I get frustrated because accomplishing simple tasks feels impossible. Then I end up feeling even worse about myself and it just gets worse.

So I like to take mental health days. I’m lucky enough to be surrounded my people who support me and care about me and I’m also lucky enough to work in a place where I have manager who I consider a friend, so talking to her is easy.

If you need a day or two or three to feel better, do it. It helps. Accept how you’re feeling and allow yourself the time you need to heal. You’ll benefit in the end.

Take care of yourself ❤

Bullet Journal

Bullet Journalling is something that I had wanted to get into for a very long time. I saw it online at least 2 years ago, probably more, but I never really had a chance to focus on it. This fall, around September, I finally got myself a journal and I’ve been obsessed with it ever since.

I’ve been wanting to write a post about my bullet journal for a while but I didn’t want to write anything until I had a layout and a system that worked for me. This month, I think that I’ve finally found something that I feel really comfortable with. I can make it look rather pretty but it’s still functional for me.

I’ve heard a lot of people say that they can’t get into bullet journals because they don’t have the time or the creative ability, or whatever. I get that. It seems like a lot of time and energy to put into something that’s essentially a planner. For me, my bullet journal has been almost like a source of self care.

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As someone who has anxiety, my bullet journal really helps. Planning everything out on paper makes it easier for me to really sort of map everything out and visually see how my week is going to go (I don’t like surprises, I don’t like being thrown into something I didn’t prepare for, it makes me nervous). It’s also the time in my day or my week that I can zen out. I can put on my favourite show or some relaxing music, like some candles, and work on my journal. It just makes me happy.

I’ve found that this minimalistic weekly theme works for me. There’s less that I have to think about on a daily basis and I have more space to sort of, dump my thoughts and ideas through the day.

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I’ve also really enjoyed using the tape chart to keep track of my moods. I like being able to look back on a month and see how it went for me. I like being able to see if I had a good month or a bad month and if there is anything I can do to change it for the next month.

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I’ve created a few different pages that I’ve been having fun with, like bookshelf to put in the books that I read, my birth chart so that I can have it on hand, a page to plan out my meals for the week, blog post ideas, and my yearly tarot reading.

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It’s just been a space for me to relax and do something for myself that also makes me feel like an adult. I am fully obsessed. It feels so very good.

Midnight Wondering – 22.01.17

“Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world…would do this, it would change the earth.”  ― William Faulkner

I am so inspired right now.

After seeing all of the tweets and Instagram posts and articles and photos of the marches that took place all over the world yesterday, I am feeling so inspired.

There is a lot of injustice in this world and there is a lot of injustice in our own society. I think that we try and see the world through rose coloured glasses but those are glasses that need to come off. I’m not saying that you can’t have hope. You should have hope. But those glasses, that make you see life as if nothing is wrong, need to go. They don’t look good with your outfit.

I hate using this word because it’s started to come along with such a negative connotation, but that being said, I think that everyone needs to acknowledge their own privilege. One of the first things you need to learn is whether or not you have a step us and that having a step up in one area of your life does not make you a bad person. Do not let people think that because you’ve had some sort of privilege, you’re an awful human being. Facing it in the mirror is step one, though. I cannot pretend that because I am a white Canadian, I haven’t had it easier. I’ve never had to worry about how someone was going to look at me or judge me based on the colour of my skin. I have never felt a fear in the pit of my stomach when I see a police officer and I have never had to fight against a society that has been against my brothers and sisters for centuries.

I am a woman and I know the struggle that we have had to face. I know the inequality and double standards that we fight against every single day, at home and across the globe. There are so many women and girls who do not have access to proper health care, who do not have the same dreams and goals as the boys in their class because they’re not being told that it’s a choice for them.

I think that step two is taking a moment to pause and listen and learn. I am still learning exactly how I can help and how I can make a difference. I have been watching some really wonderful movies and reading some lovely articles that have put things into perspective. I highly recommend that everyone watch the film 13th about race in the US criminal justice system. I’ve also adored the film Miss Representation about how women are represented in our society and the effects it has.

I don’t know. I’m only barely scratching the surface of this topic but seeing the protests and what not in the wake of Trump being sworn in as president is just so inspiring to me and that’s what’s been on my mind all week. Seeing people stand up for what they believe in, make signs and go out to fight for what they believe is right, is so, so inspiring to me. I’ve had this rush of pride in my fellow women and I have this feeling in my heart that I can do anything and I’m worthy of it all.

Peaceful protests have brought change. That can’t be argued, it’s just a fact of history. Peaceful protests and marches have give women the right to vote, it brought civil rights to African Americans…it’s brought change, and I am so inspired and proud to be part of a generation that is fighting again. I hope that you’re feeling inspired too and I hope that when you get the chance to stand up and fight or sit back and wait, you decide to stand.

And you can tell me that it’s pointless, you can call me whatever name you want, you won’t change my mind. I am a nasty woman and I am fighting for other nasty, beautiful, strong, powerful women all over the world.

Top Three
01. Death of a Bachelor by Panic! At the Disco
02. Glitter and Gold tea from David’s Tea
03. Actors on Actors videos from Variety

Photo cred: Aaron P. Bernstein / Getty Images

Midnight Wonderings – 15.01.17

This is a new series that I’m going to be starting where once a week, I’ll be posting a few thoughts and images from the week and sharing what’s been on my mind along with the top three things that I’ve been loving this week.

Tired.

If I was to sum this week up in one word, that word would be tired. I’ve been having really strange sleeps lately and I guess I probably have a lot on my mind, I usually do. This is nothing new. Thanks to good old mother nature too, I’m tired and worn out. Work is also feeling terribly long this week. I’m just sort of trucking through the days, getting from point A to point B.

Creativity and passions have been on my mind a lot this week. I’m trying to figure out what I really want to do with my life and it’s difficult, it really is. I keep sort of coming up with an idea of something that makes my heart race in the best way but then I let myself get reminded of reasons why it wouldn’t work.

I am forever being my own worst enemy. I’m constantly telling myself that I won’t be able to achieve things based on some really silly reason. I’m kind of sick of doing that. It just makes me miserable and it stresses me out and it makes me feel useless. There are things that I want to do, things that make me happy, and I’m sick of letting myself get talked out of them because I’m scared.

One of my goals for this year is to do things that make me happy, to follow my dreams and turn them into a reality, no matter what anyone says.

So with all of that being said, does anyone have any recommendations for good online writing courses? I forgot how much I love to write and it’s about time that I pick it up again. Shake off this writers block that I’ve had for far too many years.

I hope that you’ve all had a good week and I’m looking forward to the week ahead. I just need to get through work, no matter how much it puts me on edge. My days off will come soon enough and maybe I’ll get some writing done!

Top Three:
01. Earl Grey Tea
02. Jane the Virgin
03. Ouai Hair Oil

Soundtrack to My Life

I saw someone film this tag on Youtube and I really enjoyed the questions so I thought, why the hell not put it on my blog. I thought this would be an easy post to write. I was wrong! It was so hard to go through and pick just one or two songs. There are so many songs and artists that have had an impact on my life and the following songs are just hardly scratching at the surface. I do hope that you enjoy the songs I’ve picked out. I could do this over and over again with different songs each time, I swear!

1. Song you listen to when you’re happy?
I have a playlist on Spotify that I’ve been listening to lately when I’ve been in a good mood and it’s basically just Fall Out Boy and Panic! at the Disco songs. Their music just get me so pumped up.

2. Song you listen to when you’re sad?
Usually the song that I listen to when I’m sad is based on the reason why I’m sad. Is it loneliness? Is it feeling insecure? Is it stress? All of this matter! But usually something from Bon Iver or Cherry Wine by Hozier is a good choice.

3. What song will you have at your wedding?
This might seem like a strange song to have at a wedding but I adore this song and I’ve always thought that forgiveness is a big part of love and when this song goes into the part where he sings ‘I forgive you‘ you can just feel how much love is in that. It makes my heart warm.

4. What song do you dance around the house to?
I have so many songs that I dance around the house to but right now, it’s been Cool Girl by Tove Lo. Her music just makes me feel like a badass.

5. Song you play on your headphones when you’re out and about?
The song that I listen to when I’m out and about changes constantly but right now, I’ve been listening to Josephine by Ritual a lot.

6. Song you listen to when you’re angry?
This song has a special meaning to me simply because I can imagine myself saying the words to someone from my past, someone who has really hurt me. I put this one on and I feel like I’ve worked through some things.

7. Song you’d have at your funeral?
Again, this might not seem like a normal choice and it has nothing to do with the meaning of the lyrics or anything like that but it’s just this feeling that I get from this song.

8. Song that makes you lose your shit at a party?
Self explanatory.

9. The last song you listened to?

10. Your karaoke song?
Any One Tree Hill super fan will agree with me. This is the perfect karaoke song.

11. Song you work out to?
This is another song that just makes me feel like a badass and the whole idea of rising like a phoenix is something worth listening to when you’re miserable and working out.

12. Song with the most memories attached?
There are so many songs that have so many memories attached but the first one that came to mind was 321 by Hedley. Sleepovers with the best people, giggling the night away, enjoying being a young kid.

13.Song that makes you cry?
For me, this song has always captured the feeling of not being enough. That feeling that you’ll never be pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough. I think anyone who has self destruction habits will feel the same. I’ve listened to this song for year and it always makes my heart ache.

14. Favourite song of all time?
This was SO HARD to pick and I’ve selected some but really, all of the songs I’ve already mentioned and so much more are all special to me in one way or another. All of them.

The Year Past and The Year to Come

I’ve been sitting on this post all night.

I always like writing something up at the end of the old year, looking forward into the new year. I write about the things I’ve learnt, the times that mattered most, and the people that changed it all for the better, full of hope and excitement for the next year.

I’m not feeling that excitement this year.

2016 has been full of ups and downs. It’s been an emotional year for me for many different reasons. And I wish that I was ending 2016 with a bang, feeling on top of the world and ready to take on whatever life throws at me.

Right now, I’m feeling stuck and a little lost. I feel like the world is rushing around me and I’m not going anywhere. The last few months of 2016 have been hard for me and right now, I really don’t know how I feel about going into 2017.

All of that being said, however, I am trying so hard to wish for the best. 2017 is either going to be an incredible year or a terrible year. I have goals and resolutions and dreams for the upcoming year and as shitty as I feel, as stuck and as lost as I might feel right now, I’m hopeful.

I’m hoping for the best in 2017. I’m hoping for joy and love and happiness. I’m hoping that I will be grateful for the good moments and the bad moments, because they’re all important.

In 2017, my focus is on myself. I’m sure that you’ve heard this a million times (new year, new me!) from everyone in your life but whatever, this is my new years post and imma do what I want!

I hope to eat better. I hope to take care of my body because I’m sick of feeling tired and lethargic and sluggish. I hope to move forward in my life and be in a place where I don’t dread waking up every morning because I’m really sick of the dread and the anxiety when my alarm goes off at 5:30 every morning.

Something that I’ve been trying to do and something I hope to do more of in 2017, is bring back the things that make me happy. I remember being a young teenager and having hobbies and interests in my life that I was so passionate about but maybe out of fear or something else, I’ve let them fall to the side.

I adored fashion and art and history and poetry and creative writing and photography and painting. I loved it all so much and I had dreams of being a writer and a designer and a artist but then I was always told that I needed a back up plan because you have to be really talented to succeed in these creative fields. I think that my anxiety ridden and insecure brain interpreted that as you’re not good enough, give up now and get a normal job.

I want this passion back in my life, no fear. I want to follow my heart, my gut. I don’t want to fear what could go wrong.

So here’s to 2017. Please be kind to me.