06/08/16

To make a prairie it takes a clover and one bee,—
One clover, and a bee,
And revery.
The revery alone will do
If bees are few.
-Emily Dickinson

I think that I’ve been feeling a little lost lately. Life is crazy right now and I, like many adults in our current world, spend the days going to a job that doesn’t make me happy, making food that just fills me, watching TV shows and movies that I don’t need to think about, and going through all of that the next day. And the next day and the next day and the next day.

Lately, I’ve been thinking back to the the things that made me happy before the real world happened. Before stress and work and everything else got in the way.

I’d like to get those things back into my life. I had dreams of writing a novel, I got so lost in whatever book I was reading, that I didn’t even know what the weather was. I listened to a new album and felt that the musician was somehow able to capture my soul in the lyrics.

I’m tired of the monotony. I’m tired of waking up every morning with a knot of anxiety in my stomach with an urge to just run away. I want passion and love and excitement. I want to wake up everyday and have something to look forward to.

I want to let lost in stories and poetry and art and pictures. I want to write something that will mean something to someone. Maybe it’s just a matter of adding one thing into every day that makes getting up in the morning something to look forward to, not a chore.

Maybe it’s a matter of finding what little steps are needed to get to my goal. Maybe it’s working on finding classes to take online or getting rid of some unneeded everyday stress.

Maybe it’s just a matter of finding the clover and the bee, whatever that is, to build and create a beautiful prairie. A piece of inspiration.